How to Save a Marriage
A great marriage does not come easily. Maintaining a solid marriage is more than the proverbial “hard work”. It also means giving up your pride, finding more patience than you thought you ever could, and putting each other first – above all else. There is no room for pride in a marriage. It’s not about who is right or wrong.
It’s not about what your spouse has or hasn’t done for you lately. It’s about the two of you working together as a team and working towards mutual happiness. Give each other the benefit of the doubt.
Be slow to anger – have patience. Don’t fly off the handle every time your spouse doesn’t meet your expectation. Take a deep breath, count to ten (or a hundred if necessary), and ask yourself if it’s really a big deal. This holds true even if he or she is the one who is coming at you. Don’t take the bait. If you meet their anger with anger of your own, it’s just going to escalate the situation. Maybe they’ve had a bad day and their just looking to take it out on you. Is that fair? No, of course not, but it is human. If you can diffuse the situation by talking calmly or just walking away for a bit, they may calm down and see their overreacting.
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Your husband or wife should be the number one person in your life. They should come before anybody else. This includes yourself and even your kids. Give your spouse the respect you expect them to give you. Make time for each other. Listen to each other. If you’re always putting your spouse on the backburner for the kids, your friends, or someone else your marriage will suffer. You can only get out of it what you put into it.
Lastly, have a sense of humor. Learn to laugh at each other and with each other. We’re all so serious and easily offended. Sometimes a good laugh at yourself does wonderful things. It’s a great way to ease the pressures of the everyday rigormorole. Recognizing our own faults is a great way to forgive someone else’.
Some of you, I am sure, are reading this and telling yourself that you’ve done all of these things and the situation is still not improving. I would ask you to take an honest look at yourself. Are you really trying all that you can? Are you being honest with yourself? If you think you’re being honest and have tried all of the above, counseling is also a great option. Sometimes an unbiased third party is a great way to get a good perspective on your situation, your spouse, and yourself.