Save Marriage Alone

You’re in a marriage that is falling apart and you’re the only one who is interested in saving it. The key to saving your marriage alone is changing yourself. This doesn’t mean changing who you are but changing your approach to fixing your marital problems. The focus should be on what YOU can do to save your marriage – not what your spouse is or isn’t doing.

First it must be understood that your marriage is in trouble because of things both of you have said and done. Since you can’t control your spouse’ actions (don’t we all wish we could?) you have to take responsibility for your part in your marital problems. Be objective and look at both sides of the situation. Try things their way for awhile. For example, have you been accused of being too needy? Give them some space, go do something else. Respect what they are saying. If you don’t respect what they are trying to tell you, they won’t respect what you are trying to tell them.

When Your Partner Doesn’t Want it To Work – Click Here!

Stop the arguing. Quit trying to make the same points over and over. It hasn’t worked yet and it won’t when you are on the attack. Just let it go for awhile. Live in peace – even if you think it will kill you, it won’t. When things get tense, go for a walk or find another way to remove yourself. Losing your temper will only worsen the situation. The same goes if you are the one on the defensive. Don’t allow your spouse to push those same buttons. Don’t meet their anger with anger of your own.

If your spouse does come to you with a complaint, be a good listener. Try to listen to their argument with a different perspective. Again, don’t meet their anger with anger. Just hear them out. Don’t come back with your own arguments. Your spouse will have a different view of you if you validate what they are saying. Take an honest look at yourself. Could there be some truth to what they say?

Do not misunderstand me. As mentioned before, it takes two to create a marital nightmare. This is not saying it’s entirely your fault. It’s not. But you have to be willing to take your share of the blame and fix it, even if they aren’t willing. You have to show them that they have a reason to stay and fight.

In the end, it has to be a mutual decision to save a marriage. Positive changes have to occur in both spouses in order for things to work. You can, however, inspire your spouse into making those changes if you’re willing to make those changes within yourself. You can instill a new found respect and caring for each other that has long been eroded with fighting and hurt feelings. You have to be the one to start. Listen with an open mind; take their words and put them into action; and stop the hurtful arguing.